some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
