I want you more than these girls want KFC
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
