Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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