I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
