i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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