I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
