just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
