explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
