i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Randomize
