I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
