a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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