Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
