You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
