I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
