i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
