are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
