the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
