I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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