Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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