if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
