My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
