if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
