I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
