u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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