Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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