remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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