I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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