Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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