oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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