I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
