do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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