awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
