Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
