that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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