you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
