I need to stop coming to work sober
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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