508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
