I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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