i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
