Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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