Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
