Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
