I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
