There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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