I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
