about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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