umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
