NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
