I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's official drugs can't kill me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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