Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
