ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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