My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
