I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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